


Science Saturday Is Not A Thing

by rosesinheavylight



Category: Steam Powered Giraffe
Genre: Gen, One Shot, The Knife Wielding Tentacle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 03:10:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5611642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesinheavylight/pseuds/rosesinheavylight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The robots let themselves into Six's lab to build a new friend, and they invite Michael Reed to meet it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Science Saturday Is Not A Thing

**Author's Note:**

> i saw [a video about the knife-wielding tentacle](http://starfruts.tumblr.com/post/135861770379/lanternlighting-thepinkestpug) and it was enough inspiration to make me churn this out at 2AM. Hope y'all like it!

"Michael! Hey, Michael!"

The mechanic was torn from his banjo for a moment, one finger still hanging on a string as he stared out over the back of the Manor's stretch of land, the flowers barely coming in from a long rest over Winter. He was rather tired after such a morning of his boss's automatonic children keeping him on his toes like this one was, from The Jon bringing in enough frogs to fill his hat in the wee hours of dawn to having his back turned for a moment and swiveling back around to catch Miss Upgrade daring Rabbit to eat the window's curtains. Of course, Rabbit was more than willing to do it.

Mr. Reed liked to assume when he first heard one of the robots yelling his name that he was just imagining it, because whatever they were doing usually involved him needing to fix it.

"Mike, come look-see! R-Rabbit made something extraordinary!" The Jon pulled eagerly at his jumpsuit from the back, and Mr. Reed patiently let himself get shaken around for a minute, the banjo resonating with a hollow ring of a faint note.

When The Jon was finished and just waited for a response, Mr. Reed took in a breath. "What did Rabbit make this time?" He asked, standing up and turning away from the blissful view and towards his golden friend. The robot's hands flew up to guesture in a box shape as he explained, "You see, it's a box -- but, it's got a cool trick that she wants you 'n' Sam t'see. C'mon, I know where to go, just follow me now." Mr. Reed swung his instrument to rest against his back, the strap rubbing against his shoulder as he strolled along beside the robot, who kept checking to make sure he was still coming.

"How did Rabbit make the box, exactly?" Mr. Reed let one hand slide into his jumpsuit's pockets and felt the banjo sway against his back. The Jon answered, "Today's Science Saturday, Michael. That means the lab was _on limits_ , just like Upgrade said." The mechanic felt his stomach begin to sink as they turned a corner and towards where Six's lab would be; it was locked as always, but not even close to being robot-proof.

He didn't remember anything regarding Science Saturday in the recent employee meeting. The Jon went on, "I think Rabbit just wants to impress everyone, really. That's what she does, eh? She's supposed to be good at it, but sometimes even she can fall a little flat." Mr. Reed sniffed, "Where did you five hear about Science Saturday in the first place?"

The robot was quiet, and the mechanic looked over to see the lashy ocean blue eyes grow dim as steam emitted from the vertebrae-like spaces along his neck. They stopped in the middle of one of the countless hallways. The mechanic watched as he turned his head slowly and furrowed his brow. "...I believe...Rabbit had only claimed..." He stammered, "That she heard Upgrade...bein' told by Hatchworth...who was told by QWERTY...that today was Science Saturday...?"

Mr. Reed put a hand on his mouth, staring at the floor, and The Jon quickly assured him, "Not to worry, Michael. Rabbit's wonderful box is worth it! That's all we had scienced with today." The mechanic could only hold his breath as they grew close to the Lab, and immediately was greeted by The Spine.

"Mr. Reed, glad you could make it..." He mumbled, avoiding eye contact at first but then meeting his eyes with an artificial raise of his eyebrows and green eyes that fought to hide the dread of fucking up big time. Mr. Reed walked in, greeting him, "Yeah, hello, Spine. I assume you're a part of Science Saturday today."

"Yes, well..." The silver robot followed him more closely than Miss Upgrade would when The Jon would chase her with a bug he found outside, and stammered in explanation vehemently. "You see, I wanted absolutely no part in Science Saturday, as there are no prohibitions to such an activity and being in Six's laboratory in any form of documentation in the archives. Rabbit had used the element of Peer Pressure, as it is called. I am no numbskull, or 'knucklehead' as you'd say, but I am a sucker for... _being cool_. I am already cool, as anyone can tell, but it's no fun when the others don't think that."

The mechanic approached Upgrade, who greeted him with a large smile and eyes that squinted in joy to see him. "Hello, Mr. Reed! Fancy seein' you here on such an exciting day. Are y'here to see the box?" Mr. Reed hummed, "Oh, of course. Jon's been telling me about it." The Spine watched carefully as Upgrade explained, "We made it all on our own! Six never lets us do that, but that's because he's too stubborn to see how smart we are and give us a chance."

"Sam! Sam, where are you going...?" Mr. Reed glanced over to see Hatchworth staring down the hallway, and then turned around with little steps and announced, "I don't think he wants to see the box, you guys."

" _Well._ " Mr. Reed recognized the glitchy voice hitting an unamused, deep tone as Rabbit came from the depths of one of the many rooms in the lab, holding a birchwood box that was the perfect size for both of her hands. She sighed, "Looks like he's gonna m-m-m-miss out on this puppy. Whatta shame, 'cuz I'm really proud of this one."

The robots and Mr. Reed stood back as the automaton set the invention down, and then called out, "Sharon, come on out and say hello!" The mechanic questioned under his breath, "You named it Sharon...?"

"She's a real charmer, just like her parents." The Spine commented, and suddenly a plastic tentacle popped out from the box, a butcher knife from the kitchen tied to the end of its cartoonishly pink suckers with a rubber band.

Sharon began to immediately flail around, and Mr. Reed's skin prickled into goosebumps as Rabbit held her hands up and stared with wide eyes. "Ah-oh. Looks like she's m-malfunctionin'..." She furrowed her brows at the others and stuck her bottom lip out in a pout, " _Again._ "

The Spine suddenly stepped forward and assured his friends, "Now, don't you worry, Rabbit. I think we can control Sharon just fine." The box thumped hotly on the table, knife hacking and scratching up the metal viciously. The silver robot walked closer, looking more reluctant to even touch it as Rabbit began scolding, "Now, stop throwin' such a fit-fi-fit, Sherry. There's no reason to be so-"

"Rabbit, Sharon does not have the programs that can understand verbal communication." Hatchworth interrupted, putting a finger to his chin. Mr. Reed wondered if he would face getting fired for letting Sharon screw up that table like she was.

"Maybe try telling her she's beautiful?" The Jon suggested, "It works on Upgrade when she's upset." The pink robot smiled dreamily, batting her big eyelashes at him. The Spine held his hands out and assured loudly, "Now now, everyone. Your commentary is greatly appreciated, but I think I know how to handle a knife-weilding tentacle named Sharon."

"Do ya really, though? What can even pre-prepare ya for that?" Rabbit prodded, side-stepping until she was well hidden behind Spine and looking at her creation from under his raised arm. The Spine reached over, but a loud screech was heard as the knife brushed against his metal finger and he drew back again, his eyes boggling. His head snapped to look at Rabbit quickly as he whimpered, "Okay, maybe I don't know how to handle a knife-weilding tentacle named Sharon. You were right." Rabbit smirked, "Since when am I _not_ , Th'Spine?"

"Well-" The silver robot pondered, but Mr. Reed cut him off, "I can take care of this, Spine. Your attempt was worth a shot, though..." He took hold of his trustworthy goggles from around his neck and explained, "I want you all to give me room, if that's alright..." He stuck them over his eyes, and The Jon immediately demurred, "Mike, you'll get your fingers chopped off!" Rabbit fretted, "Yeah, I don't think Sharon's messin' around."

Upgrade snorted, "The only thing she's gonna mess up is _you_ if you try to take her on." Mr. Reed shrugged, "Well...I always fix you guys up in the end, right? Who says Sharon will be a challenge?"

"...We never threaten you with a knife, though." Rabbit argued.  
"Except for The Great Spaghetti Incident of 2010..." Spine reminded her.

Mr. Reed towered over Sharon, the idea of how he was going to dispatch such a solution becoming clear as the knife slammed into the table over and over again. He drove his hand into the back of the blade when it knocked against the table again, getting gasps and cries of fear from the automatons who stood well away like he asked. He pushed the knife into the table to keep it from flying around and threatening everything in its vicinity, the tentacle fighting furiously to pull it up and in every direction robotically possible.

"HE'S DOIN' IT, GUYS!" Rabbit gasped, adjusting her hat and smiling with one corner of her mouth in a crooked beam. Mr. Reed smiled for a moment, but felt the knife lifting from its diversion in the wood. His expression dropped, and he turned to them all and hollered, "HOW DO YOU TURN SHARON OFF!?"

The four automatons gave him a clueless look in return, but then their eyes fell to Rabbit, who still hid behind The Spine. The robot's eyes shifted to and fro, and the metal brow on her forehead lifted as she stuck her lip out again and stammered, "Uh...I put Th'Jon in charge of an off switch."

"I thought you put Hatchworth in charge of that..." The Jon replied. Mr. Reed made a little whimper of distress, switching hands at lightning speed to hold the knife down into the table.

"STOP, YOU'RE GONNA GET HURT, MICHAEL REED!" Upgrade cried, but the mechanic stared helplessly at the box, looking for the wiring, or any form of weakness he could grab at.

"Set her on fire! Quick!" Rabbit then demanded, "That'll make her stop!" The Spine and Mr. Reed both yelled, "Rabbit, no!"

"Begin spitting on it!" The Jon suggested, pointing a brave finger in the air, and Mr. Reed didn't even hesitate. He wasn't "setting things on fire" desperate, but he was "spitting on a tentacle" desperate.

"Oh, gross..." Hatchworth looked to his feet, baring his teeth a little as Rabbit just stared in awe. "He's our hero. The ch-ch-chosen one..." She murmured to the others. Finally, Mr. Reed began using his free hand to pull at the rubber band.

"Oh! Look! He has found the solution!" The Jon gasped, a hand going to his hat. With the banjo furiously being thrown from one shoulderblade to the other, he yanked the band free and into its original oval-shape. Holding it over the knife and tentacle that now swung freely without her weapon, he tried to stop breathing so hard, but then grew a bit heated from the entire affair.

His arm fell, and he groaned at the others, "Science Saturday is _not_ a thing anymore, guys."


End file.
